Yes, I too see Hitler all over the place

"Mr. Rumsfeld is also personally confused, morally or intellectually, about his own standing in this matter. From Iraq to Katrina, to the entire 'Fog of Fear' which continues to enveloppe this nation - he, Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney, and their cronies, have - inadvertently or intentionally - profited and benefited, both personally, and politically. And yet he can stand up, in public, and question the morality and the intellect of those of us who dare ask just for the receipt for the Emporer’s New Clothes."

A government of dickheads for a nation of dickheads

The only qualification for government service in the Bush Age seems to be enthusiastic dimwittedness, hostility toward government and an ethical system firmly rooted in high school football culture. Being quite fat helps, too.

Take for example Kenneth Tomlinson, former Chairman of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. Tomlinson formerly edited Reader's Digest, an undistinguished fascist leaflet compendium. He was removed from his CPB position for being an undistinguished fascist. Tomlinson remains chairman of the State Department's Broadcasting Board of Governors. The Times has a very nice overview of his service this morning. Here are some excerpts:

The State Department report noted his use of his office to oversee a stable of thoroughbreds but did not mention one specific way in which his professional responsibilities and personal interests appear to have intersected. The horses, according to track records, include Karzai, as in Hamid Karzai, and Massoud, from the late Ahmed Shah Massoud) references to Afghan leaders who have fought against the Taliban and the Russians, as well as Panjshair, the valley that was the base used by forces to overthrow the Taliban.

Mr. Tomlinson, 62, is a former editor of Reader’s Digest who has close ties to Karl Rove, Mr. Bush’s political strategist and senior adviser.

Mr. Tomlinson’s ouster in November from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting was prompted by a separate investigation by that inspector general at the corporation. That inquiry found evidence that Mr. Tomlinson had violated rules as he sought more conservative programs and that he had improperly intervened to help the staff of the editorial page of The Wall Street Journal win a $4.1 million contract, one of the corporation’s largest programming contracts, to finance a weekly public television program.

Mr. Tomlinson was rebuked in the earlier report at the Corporation for Public Broadcasting for improperly hiring an acquaintance from a journalism center founded by the American Conservative Union. The corporation paid the person more than $20,000 to monitor public radio and television programs for bias, including “Now,” with Bill Moyers as host.

The State Department report said that from 2003 through 2005 Mr. Tomlinson had requested compensation in excess of the 130 days permitted by law for his post. The report said that he had requested and received pay from the broadcasting board and the Corporation for Public Broadcasting for the same days worked on 14 occasions but that investigators were unable to substantiate whether they were for the same hours worked on the same days.

...And five years of McKinleynomics

The Census findings are yet another indication that growth alone is not the answer to the economic and social ills of poverty, income inequality and lack of insurance. Economic growth was strong in 2005, and productivity growth was impressive. What have been missing are government policies that help to ensure that the benefits of growth are broadly shared — like strong support for public education, a progressive income tax, affordable health care, a higher minimum wage and other labor protections

Christian Scientists : Science :: Christian Economists : Economics

In a land with decidedly mixed attitudes toward irony , the stuff seems to be in abundant supply. Americans are hearty, straightforward people who don't need bureaucrats in Washington DC making healthcare decisions for them. This function is apparently better left to bureaucrats in Hartford. The ruggedly individualist national character troubles pundits brooding over Hillary Clinton's "electability" in a presidential election. "Electability" is of course a euphemism for "illiterate Sean Hannity-types think she's a communist bulldyke." The illiterate Sean Hannity-types, like most voters, are far more concerned about perception than facts, and much of their perception of Hillary Clinton solidified in 1993 when she dusted off old Kremlin plans to seize hospitals and send turn old folks' homes into re-education camps. The effort rightly failed. Americans have no interest in the government shoving socialist medicine suppositories into their can-do rectums.

In the world's flagship market democracy, only the most competitive ideas gain currency and silly theories like universal health care end up on the next boat to Havana where they belong. The will of the people was heard, and this issue vanished from the national political debate. But as usual, our national peace and quiet couldn't last long. A tricked-out Saab with Massachusetts plates rolled down the street blasting NPR from its subwoofer recently, apparently waking up all the meddling Trotskyites. Look for ballots heavy on leftist social engineering schemes and light on Defending America in elections to come.

The great thing about elections is their irrelevance. Americans don't want their hard earned money diverted to welfare queens rolling around in Cadillacs full of babies. When such lunacy somehow finds its way into public policy, patriots like Bad Grover find clever ways to let the air out of the Cadillac's tires. Hostility toward open democracy is a key element of cleverness.

Cleverness should not be conflated with swiftness. Some archaic dinosaurs of Roosevelt-Leninism will take generations to die. New public schools seem to spawn faster than they can be burned down by evangelical mobs. The GI Bill remains a sacred cow for those who consider government checks the benchmark of civilization. Fat Cats from the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) jaunt down to Kentucky on a taxpayer-financed lear jet on Sunday, and on Monday morning you get up and go pay for it. Plucking this beast apart requires starting small, starting with those low-hanging fruits most resembling Chairman Mao's testicles.

Case in point: take a look at your local medical examiner's budget and you will see a gargantuan Soviet barge full of tax dollars floating down a river of bureaucratic waste. Why should taxpayer money be spent fussing over corpses? Under the current system, if you should take a stroll around the grounds and come upon a dead sharecropper, simply make a quick toll-free call and a van shortly arrives to remove the corpse. It is whisked off to a state of the art facility, examined with a lot of fancy equipment and undergoes a lengthy procedure by a specialist physician. Another brigade of civil servants fusses with notifying next of kin, filling out government forms and other functions with no discernible public benefit. Kindly pay for all of this in full by April 15.

This is but one example. Should the Democrat party take over in 2008, common sense lazes faire pragmatism will be on the first train to Siberia. You may wish to make a reservation on the same train before government witch doctors knock on your door to inject your daughters with syringes full of whore potion.

For whom, exactly?

"Senior administration officials have acknowledged to me that they are considering alternatives other than democracy."

Christ rolled His eyes and ordered another scotch

The Pentagon's procurement apparatus is usually compared to a symphony of angels and archangels playing eternal hymns of heavenly perfection, which are very pleasing to the Lord.

What, then, does one do if he looks upon his creation and finds it perfect, in want of nothing? If you find yourself in this situation and your earthly domain is oversight of the Defense Department, you should apparently seize the nearest 30-foot concrete cross and give a silly speech:

The memorial, pursuant to President Bush's signature became owned by the United States of America, its going to be owned by the Department of Defense, and we think that memorial, with that rugged old cross stays in place as a result of the President's signing the bill.

These remarks Monday, delivered by House Armed Services Committee Chairman Duncan Hunter (R-Prussia) at the Mount Soledad Cross in San Diego, are meant to remind Americans of the whole and utter futility of democracy. When elected officials like Hunter completely run out of work to do, they start filling the Pentagon with all kinds of clutter. The rugged old cross in question will doubtless end up on the lawn with the rusted washing machines, broken down Chevy Novas and mangy children of unknown parentage.

Of course, the folks next door have found another way to keep busy. Mr. Rumsfeld's tea with the Senate Armed Services Committee a few weeks ago was mentioned all the notable society pages. Tedious matters of Oriental administration were discussed and cucumber sandwiches were served. Mrs. Clinton's Social Register made special note of the Oolong orange tea, which was, by all accounts, very nice.

Mr. Hunter's preference for theological pursuits over his official responsibilities is perfectly understandable. His Eastern San Diego County district is home to the prestigious Institute for Creation Research, the Center for Reclaiming America for Christ and important officials in the White Aryan Resistance movement. Additionally, Mr. Hunter was one of the first lawmakers to recognize the Damascus-Karachi-Tijuana terror superhighway, and, as such, works tirelessly to thwart the Sombrero Menace.

Mr. Hunter is nothing if not responsive to the wishes of his constituents, who see the Mt. Soledad Cross as a central front in the War on Priorities. At a recent Mt. Soledad rally, Rees Lloyd of the Defense of Veterans Memorials Project of the American Legion mused on the spontaneous wrath of the [American] people:

Today we are giving notice to every agnostic and every atheist, every mincing self-appointed, self righteous secular attorney or member of the ACLU that we are going to fight, we're going to fight you in every court action and if we have to we're going to fight you in the streets, but we will win in the end.

Two Unitarian churches and one French bakery were destroyed later that afternoon in what the San Diego County Sheriff's Department described as "The birth pangs of a new East County."

Fellow San Diego-area Congressman Brian Bilbray offered Hunter his full support:

I am very proud to have worked with people like Duncan Hunter fighting to preserve this memorial to the men and women who have served, not just in Korea but all over the world. Now is the time that we need the White House to intervene, now is the time to have the White House finally take possession of this national memorial.

Readers may recognize Brian Bilbray's name from coverage of the recent special election that returned him to Congress upon the early retirement of Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham. An devout scholar of the principals of the K-Street project, Mr. Cunningham understood and challenged the inherent socialist impulse behind laws designed to criminalize the relationship between his elected office and his appetite for tasteless faux baroque furniture and yachts.

Mr. Cunningham did more than just occasionally bump into Mr. Hunter at Roger Hedgecock's fascist puppet radio program during his years in office. Chairman Hunter once called up Pentagon officials encouraging them to reconsider a decision not to award a nearly $10 million contract to Brent Wilkes' (hereafter "Co-Conspirator #1") San Diego defense contracting firm ADCS, Inc. The officials quickly saw the error of their ways and awarded Wilkes one of his first, and by no means last, phat defense contract. A cursory Google search reveals Defense Department officials are paid salaries allocated in a budget overseen by the House Armed Services Committee, chaired by Mr. Hunter. One may safely assume Mr. Cunningham appreciated Mr. Hunter's effort, as there was a strong positive proportional correlation between health of Mr. Wilkes' company and Mr. Cunningham's adventures in prostitutes, limousines and hotel rooms.

Unlike Mr. Cunningham, Mr. Hunter and Mr. Wilkes remain unindicted and unimprisioned, and Mr. Wilkes is expected to keep a slightly frenzied travel schedule lately. Mr. Wilkes has been subpoenaed in the Texas prosecution of Tom DeLay regarding some sort of accounting mixup and Mr. Wilkes' hiring of Mr. DeLay's wife to lobby the Navy on his company's behalf. Mr. DeLay's wife is of course a respected scientist specializing in ultrasound navigation systems and dolphin neurobiology.

While this unseemliness is expected and routine in the truculent Lower Chamber, Mr. Wilkes' checkbook was rather more ambitious. He raised $100,000 for the 2004 Bush campaign, earning the "Pioneer" designation, which ranks somewhere between Weblo Scout and Oberstgruppenführer.

In the end, history will likely remember Mr. Wilkes for the entirely hookerless, non-ironic poker parties he hosted at the Watergate Hotel with high school pal Kyle "Dusty" Foggo, who was, until recently, Executive Director of the Central Intelligence Agency before his abrupt resignation around the time of Cunningham's sentencing in May.

May has long been known as the abrupt resignations season, according to former congressman and onetime CIA Director Porter Goss, who resigned a few days before Foggo in order to concentrate on improving his deck shuffling skills.

Thankfully for Mr. Hunter, Mr. Goss presided over a brief but catastrophic dismantling of the CIA, which should help prevent its remaining officials from stirring up trouble concerning the Administration's case for war in Iraq. Such officials apparently forget responsibility for asking such questions belongs to our elected officials.

The House Armed Services Committee has no hearings scheduled anytime soon, though reports suggest members are considering taking custody of Roy Moore’s Ten Commandments monument and relocating it to Baghdad to restore law and order to the country.

Why doth the fat lady protest so much?

The follow-up to "Bush's Brain" is about to be published:

Rove is also upset about information in "The Architect" that explores his family history. Ordinarily, a political reporter will ignore a subject's background when writing about issues being promoted by a particular political operative. Their personal life is not relevant unless it contradicts a public posture on a relevant issue. Rove's zealous approach to promoting the anti-gay marriage amendment, however, prompted curiosity during the course of researching for the book. We will leave it to students of Freud to deconstruct what we discovered through on the record interviews, but it will be clear that Mr. Rove's motivations for promoting anti gay marriage legislation has as much to do with his own background as it does the political utility of motivating the conservative and fundamentalist base for the GOP.

Glorious New Tractor Factory

Flaming Europeans.... yet another reason farm subsidies are an exceptionally bad idea.

Jesus answered, "My kingdom is not of this world."

But not everyone got The memo:

The unnamed teenager died hours after taking part in a relay race in a temperature of 34C during a camping expedition with 32 others from a privately run Christian military academy in Fort Lauderdale.

Mehlman: "We need every tool to win the war on terror."

Q. What is a category error?

A. A category error is the application of inappropriate term or predicate to a type of object that cannot be described in those terms.

Here are two examples:
1. "Iraq is a central front in the War on Terror."
2. "Mr. Mehlman's companion is some sassy ass."

Marketplaces of Ideas v. Command Economies of Ideas

From The Observer:

The demented, bullying tone of the websites is another symptom of the descent of public discourse in America and, frankly, one can easily see the attractions of self-censorship on the question of Middle East and Israel. Read David Horovitz for longer than five minutes and you begin to hear Senator Joseph McCarthy accusing someone of un-American activities.

[...] The bottom line,' say Mearsheimer and Walt, 'is that AIPAC is a de facto agent for a foreign government, has a stranglehold on Congress, with the result that US policy is not debated there, even though the policy has important consequences for the entire world.'

[...] That is my belief, but these things are rarely discussed in America. People look vaguely queasy when you raise the subject of the Israeli lobby, as though the only concern in American discourse is not to appear anti-semitic, a fear which, I suggest, is sometimes shamelessly played upon.

Let the Inuit open casinos

REYKJAVIK [WIRE] - Unconfirmed reports from The Soviet Central News Agency (Tass) suggest Global Warming is contrary to the public good. A response from the House Select Committee on Witchcraft & Dancing is expected at a press conference scheduled to start sometime after Rep. Dreier's prayer breakfast at JR's later this morning.

History will be much kinder to Richard Nixon than his contemporaries have b... wait why is that microwave only $9.99?

A dangerous tendency has shown itself of late among many of our personnel -- an unwillingness to share the joys and hardships of the masses, a concern for personal fame and gain. This is very bad.

The reporter's tape recorder was hidden in a baguette

"Weeks before September 11th, this is going to play big," said another White House official, who also spoke on condition of not being named, adding that some Democratic candidates won't "look as appealing" under the circumstances.

He runs a writers retreat in The East

A Nobel Prize winner finally admits he was in the SS. Floyd Landis' secrets are evidently much darker.

Dr. Kahn, please pick up the white courtesy phone

For those readers earnestly trying to put the clunkier pieces of this puzzle together, may we kindly suggest asking the children to leave the room before googling "Dr. A.Q. Kahn." If ads for Lipitor pop up, you've spelled it wrong.

Hitherto, your interest in Pakistani affairs was likely limited to questions surrounding the head of state's silly Idi Amin getup and/or the connection between Bert and Al Qaida. But with Pakistan playing a critical role in uncovering this plot whilst Osama bin Laden summers there, a closer examination of the players, relationships and motivations is warranted.

Knowing a bit about Dr. Kahn will illuminate your study of the slightly complicated relationship between the ISI, Pakistan's intelligence service, and the west. This will further guide your understanding of the rather still more complicated relationship between the aforementioned head of state and his constituents, allies, neighbors, coreligionists, uppity Hindus and his pronounced interest in remaining alive. Achieving the latter goal is, at least for now, critical to the longterm stability of the civilised world and your continued ability to take the subway to Whole Foods without a radiation suit.

The White House Office of Spreading Democracy declined to comment for this story.

The End of Empire indeed

Nicely done, lads.

Steamships have always been a more practical way of getting around anyhow.

"It became necessary to destroy the village in order to save it."

The Hubert Humphrey Presidential Library Foundation in Minneapolis is hosting a "1968 Presidential Election Analysis Forum" this weekend featuring former Humphrey Administration officials and historically insignificant mustachioed radio show host G. Gordon Liddy. On Saturday, DailyKos founder Markos Moulitsas Zanig will present a lunchtime talk entitled "1968 as a Blueprint for Success in 2008" during a menu of Vietnamese noodles and lemonade.

By early 1968, Pillar of Sober America Walter Cronkite had finally said what everyone was thinking when he observed America was mired in stalemate in Vietnam. He said this on the CBS Evening News. Rather than whisk Cronkite off to Cairo in a padded Lear Jet for further discussion, the administration quietly observed the tide of public opinion had irreversibly turned against the war. It became acceptable to honestly discuss the Vietnam disaster at Tupperware parties and in Bob Eubanks' sweater vault. The 'tipping point' had occurred, and ordinary Americans knew there was a big problem in Vietnam.

But why be content to win an argument when you can firebomb the opposition into total submission? Bearded youngsters in Volkswagens had the same question and convened in Chicago to come up with a solution. It was a no brainer-- what better way to win the hearts and minds of sexually frustrated Kansans in Buicks than to start a ganja-soaked longhaired class riot on primetime television? It was an hysterical success, consecrating the golden age of class warfare in marketing and a swift and speedy Democratic victory in November. Goodness knows what disasterous outcome an alternative election result would have produced.

The rest is history. Richard Nixon became the obscure $600 Jeopardy answer, and Spiro Agnew returned to his day job misplacing banking records.

The only people we hate more than the Romans are the fucking Judean People's Front!

Before the patchouli orgies begin, our leftist agitator friends should read this and know Fat Karl is at this very moment raising a toast in a goblet filled with the Blood of the Innocent.

Put the Haldol in the Kool-Aid

Formerly interesting writer Christopher Hitchens has started making a fresh commotion over at the Bellevue lockdown unit:

If there had been a military coup in any other Latin American or Caribbean country, even a fairly small or obscure one, I think it safe to say that it would have made the front page of the newspapers. But the military coup in Cuba—a nation linked to ours in many vital and historic ways—has not been reported at all.

Is he on to something? Hard to know anymore. He was once a lovely dinner guest, but the last time anyone saw Hitchens in public he was playing Risk with Doug Feith, some guys from AIPAC and Judy Miller. Stay tuned.

Duck Sauce Explained

From this morning's Times:

Inside a series of unmarked buildings, hundreds of Chinese workers, some seated in assembly line formations, are cleaning, cutting, dissecting, preserving and re-engineering human corpses, preparing them for the international museum exhibition market.

It was my understanding there would be no math in tonight's debate...

The AM radio dial is an orgy of tweedy intellectuals smoking opium whilst musing on the Ultimate Nature of Man and Providence. Dispatches from all manner of exotic outposts trickle in, fermenting rich debate on questions of immediate importance, such as 'storing immigrants in offshore refuse barges vs. releasing them in game preserves.' Though one debate was long ago settled. Jimmy Carter's brutal regime of Bolshevik sex dungeons in public schools and cardigan sweater-clad stormtroopers shooting oil company executives on live broadcasts of The Carol Burnett Show was the darkest chapter in American history.

Now revisionist historians at liberal universities have begun a whisper campaign of lies designed to deceive Ordinary Americans about Chairman Reagan's Great Leap Forward, which salvaged God-fearing Americans from their Hoovervilles and Soviet-built Chrysler Cordobas. This lie hinges upon another lie: economies function in broad cycles of growth and decline, with consequences of a particular policy or event often not being fully realized for many years. One reason for this is the ability of lawmakers to artificially postpone full costs and/or negative outcomes. While this might make sense to someone drinking mint juleps with Alger Hiss at the Harvard Club, those with common sense know any state intervention in the economy is an affront to God and decency. Monetary policy is to Sodom what fiscal policy is to Gammorah. After all, without the unhinged free markets of yesteryear, there'd be very little to look at in Newport.

Which brings us back to Stagflation. Stagflation is retribution sent from On High when sinners play God with the economy, but the Trotskyites in Howard Dean's freedom hating atheist saloon would have you believe their pals over at the Viet Cong had something to do with it. Apparently if you cook the numbers just right, we didn't actually get the whole bill until well after the last eggroll was served, sometime in the late 1970s when the chronic pressure on resources and policymaking caused by Vietnam had reached an end state. Stagflation had many components, but this was a big one.

The Iraq War is astonishingly similar to Vietnam in nearly every respect, not least of which being the unanticipated massive, chronic expenditure of public funds for no discernible benefit. Three hundred billion dollars later, we'd be ecstatic if we could walk away with things the way they were before we started. Putting the political situation in Iraq aside for a moment, this is economically impossible because the Iraq war has been an enormous game changer for the economics of petroleum. Iran's position in the region has been strengthened considerably, pitting it as a plucky competitor to Saudi Arabia's oil hegemony. And remember, Saudi Arabia's importance isn't necessarily a function of how much oil it sits on. Saudi Arabia controls the global price of oil. Saudi Arabia is also one of the least politically stable regimes in the region. The House of Saud must stay in bed with the US while simultaneously paying hush money to Wahhabists who hate the House of Saud for, among other things, being in bed with the US. The microeconomics of this cycle are plainly not sustainable. One Wahhabist in particular was causing a lot of problems a few years ago for both the Saudi Government and the United States, seeing them as equal enemies. But that's all water under the bridge- we have bigger things to worry about now.

This liberal hatred of clear moral decision making explains why Jimmy Carter's National Security Advisor keeps popping up spewing nonsense and emboldening the enemy.

Note to San Francisco Postmaster:

Please forward all further patchouli oil shipments to Nebraska, as the lunatic fringe has a new home.

Someone needs to buy Chuck Hagel a drink for breaking ranks with Berlin. While it's not fashionable to bring attention to Republicans saying sensible things, your correspondent approves of the occasional departure from fashionable living. The angry left has not given proper attention to Senator Hagel's prudent comments:

"How do we realistically believe that a continuation of the systematic destruction of an American friend, the country and people of Lebanon, is going to enhance America’s image and give us the trust and credibility to lead a lasting and sustained peace effort in the Middle East?"

The Senator's assessment of Iraq is also accurate:

"The longer we stay in Iraq, the more similarities [to Vietnam] will start to develop, meaning essentially that we are getting more and more bogged down, taking more and more casualties, more and more heated dissension and debate in the United States."

Now that the Brownshirts have started attacking the gentleman from Nebraska, respectable citizens should consider him one of their own. Assuming, of course, there isn't some unfortunate mishap in the cloakroom.

Apocalypse Bias

Christian Zionism is something aware people need to be aware of.

It is an element of dispensationalist theology, which is the dominant theology of the Religious Right. The particulars are complicated, but in a nutshell, that's where the idea of The Rapture originated. Christian Zionists, nearly all of whom are conservative evangelicals, believe biblical prophecy reveals a series of events leading up to the earthly return of Jesus Christ. The hugely popular Left Behind series is all about dispensationalism and Christian Zionism. Exponents of this belief system are militant supporters of Israel, and they side with hard-line Israeli politicians at every turn. Support of American evangelical Christian Zionists is increasingly important to Israel for tourism revenue and political support . The International Christian Embassy Jerusalem is a primary Christian Zionist institution.

The Jerusalem Post is a respected international newspaper with a reputable history. It lately skews center-right, but is still highly readable. Alarmingly, their website, jpost.com, has been running ads for something called "The Jerusalem Post Christian Edition" published in conjunction with the International Christian Embassy Jerusalem. Christian Zionists see middle east peace as an obstruction to God's will and the return of the Christ. While this overt editorial bias is confined to the pages of an auxiliary publication, one wonders what signals the editors of The Jerusalem Post are sending.

Does this portend a new trend for other publications? Will there soon be a Minneapolis Star-Tribune Christian Edition? How about an US Weekly for Christians? These things might not become a reality, but the alarming Christianist trend of building an isolated, insulated parallel reality seems unstoppable. How this has anything to do with Christianity remains mysterious.

The significance of The Jerusalem Post is obviously much greater than Christ-centered yoga or Christian nights at Major League Baseball games, particularly now. One hopes "the birth pangs of a new middle east" is not coded language for "advancing the kingdom."

A Frothy Mixture of Surprise

Perhaps you've seen this piece about outgoing Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum:

After a meeting with a Pennsylvania-based activist Adrian Shanker, US Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA) has signed onto a letter affirming that his office does not discriminate in hiring on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity.

The article doesn't mention Santorum's longtime Communications Director Robert Traynham is himself a practicing homosexual. When the lavender blogopshpere picked up on this awhile back, the Senator of Nottingham said:

He is widely respected and admired on Capitol Hill, both among the press corps and among congressional staff, as a communications professional... Not only is Mr. Traynham an exemplary staffer, he is also a trusted friend and confidante to me and my family.

In an earlier statement in a speech to the National Socialist Students League, Santorum observed:

If the Supreme Court says that you have a right to consesual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything.

All good suggestions for the weekend.

Protocols of the Boorish Australian of Malibu

The fledgling Third World War has been surpassed by noted Romanist Mel Gibson in the lead position of this week’s media cycle. Gibson’s discourse on the nature of World Jewry and its various cabals makes sense when one considers his social history. His father, Hutton Gibson, maintains a worldview that is one part Marge Schott and two parts St. Gregory of Nyssa with a heavy splash of Heinrich Himmler. But everyone knows the Holocaust never happened, so let’s not lose the forest for the trees on this.

Fresh and appropriate controversies over “The Passion of the Christ” have erupted again. Is it anti-Semitic? Probably. Does that have anything do to with Mel Gibson? Probably not. It has more to do with the interpretation of Ponitus Pilate’s words in the Gospel of Matthew’s account of the crucifixion. "When Pilate saw that he was accomplishing nothing, but rather that a riot was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd, saying, 'I am innocent of this Man's blood; see to that yourselves.'” (Matthew 27:24). Later generations distilled this into a catchier, “The Jews killed Jesus.” Nevermind the facts that Jesus himself was a Jew and early Christians considered themselves practitioners of a new form of Judaism. Everyone knows facts are only a minor part of any equation.

Apart from Gibson’s dreadful beliefs put on display for all the world to see, this incident hasn’t provided insight on anything. “The Passion of the Christ” is a proxy war for a very old controversy, which bears some relation to other, similar proxy wars.

The bigger unreported problem with “The Passion of the Christ” is its bizarre placement of human sacrifice in the center of a worldview warmly embraced by millions and millions of Americans. It is impossible to avoid hearing “Jesus died for your sins” or some variation thereof in the public space. T-shirts with bloody hands reading “His pain, your gain” are common. Reasonable people, especially reasonable Christians, should confront this horrible idea forcefully.

The Beatitudes (aka the Sermon on the Mount) are considered the centerpiece of Christ’s teaching. It encourages gentleness and a turning away from the violent conventions of this world. At no point does Jesus say “I am to be killed as a sacrifice to appease God, who really wants to kill you instead.” Yet this has somehow become the central feature of evangelical Christianity, which seems to pick this idea up from later writings in the Christian movement like John’s gospel and the writings of St. Paul.

Not only is this worldview in no way faithful to Jesus, it is a particularly nasty way of inoculating its followers against violence and murder. By the logic of Christianists, the default fate of all souls is to burn forever in a lake of fire for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. Most souls will suffer for an eternity, but God, being merciful and loving, arranged for his son to be flogged, stabbed and nailed to a tree to set everything straight. As soon as you come to understand that as a loving act of redemption, your own soul will be spared. The consequences of this belief system on civil society speak for themselves.

Saigon Thursdays at Rummy's

Secretary McNamara is testifying before the Senate Armed Services Committee right now. Watch live: http://www.cspan.org/watch/cs_cspan_wm.asp?Cat=TV&Code=CS

Colonoscopy in Isle Five

Advocates for a Hobbesian state of nature have been doing quite well in public policy debates lately. But on last night's Charlie Rose Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott said the health care crisis has reached critical mass, ludicrously suggesting a role for government in solving this policy emergency. Ken Mehlman, however, says Americans are perfectly happy "owning their own health care" and leaves it at that. Ken Mehlman says a lot of silly things.

Flashback from the Petrolium Podium

In honor of the new press briefing room, let's take a sentimental look at lighter moments from briefings past...

White House Press Briefing 5/7/01

Q: Is one of the problems with this, and the entire energy field, American lifestyles? Does the President believe that, given the amount of energy Americans consume per capita, how much it exceeds any other citizen in any other country in the world, does the President believe we need to correct our lifestyles to address the energy problem?

MR. FLEISCHER: That's a big no. The President believes that it's an American way of life, and that it should be the goal of policy makers to protect the American way of life. The American way of life is a blessed one. And we have a bounty of resources in this country. What we need to do is make certain that we're able to get those resources in an efficient way, in a way that also emphasizes protecting the environment and conservation, into the hands of consumers so they can make the choices that they want to make as they live their lives day to day. (emphasis added)

Murderous, Thieving Hordes...

Great article in the Times about the members-only elevators at the Capitol:

"Congressional staff members related an incident in 2001, in which they recalled the freshman Representative Melissa Hart of Pennsylvania, who is white, admonishing Representative Julia Carson, who is black, that the elevator they were riding on was members-only. Ms. Carson, of Indiana, proceeded to introduce herself to her new colleague, offense taken"

From the Vault: A Brief Statement Regarding the Election

[Note: This statement was originally issued Nov. 3, 2004. It is republished here for historical purposes]

As we reflect on the dark events of the past two days, I am compelled to share an experience with you. My goal here is to help explain how our once happy lives have now become buried under an avalanche of Wal-Mart aprons, stock-car racing paraphernalia and Army recruiting brochures.

I don't usually watch Fox News or the local news. Last night, some of the local stations were running the Fox News election coverage. This was my introduction to our special American flavor of state-run television. How it makes one long for the bravado and self-effacing irony of the Soviet propaganda machine! Shepard Smith was the anchor (no relation). He has sort of a preacher's charm and knife salesman's savvy. Not an overwhelmingly disagreeable fellow. I'm sure he was being watched in at least as many homes as Brokaw, if not many thousands more (especially if you count factory-built homes and detention facilities). They were discussing Alaska's status, and the refreshingly authoritative Mr. Smith (everyone just calls him "Shep," because he's such a nice guy) reminded his molasses-filled viewers that, "Alaska went strongly for Gore in the last election..." and then, sensing that something might be a little off, added, "Correct me if I'm wrong." It is a shame he wasn't directing that last comment at The Deity, because the correction that came was not nearly drastic nor metaphysical enough. As any half-aware person knows, Democrats in Alaska are routinely fed to polar bears. This leaves few, if any, on hand to ever vote for ANWR swilling Bolsheviks like Misters Gore and Kerry.

A few minutes later, Ol' Shep cheerfully galloped his way into the kind of zinger one likes to avoid having after sixth grade or so.... A helpful map was displayed as a visual aide in discussing the remaining states in play. Unfortunately, someone in the control room forgot to type in the name of each state in bright flashing cartoon letters as a visual aide for Shep. This caused confusion and a brief but noticeable panic. While Shep-on-the-Spot was able to quickly and confidently identify Nevada as being in play, turning to the squigglier of the grey states took our hero into deeper and colder water. Whether it was nervousness or habit that prompted him to pee at this point is anyone's guess. Rather than get muddled by the abstract geographical theories imposed by liberal university professors, Shep wisely avoided walking into the trap in front of him. He gracefully steered discussion of the state of play in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan and Ohio into the kind of no-nonsense, hard-hitting reporting viewers rely on Fox News for: "And those states up there in the upper right hand corner... we're gonna be watching those too."

I suppose I could have lived with it if he had at least gotten the basic dimensions of the map approximately right. As you may be aware, the region in question isn't so much in the upper right corner of the country as much as it is in the north-central and slightly eastern section of the middlewest which bookish NPR types sometimes refer to as the Great Lakes. The problem with lakes, as you may further be aware (particularly great lakes), is that they lack a sufficient mermaid-princess population to be the stuff of great literature and animated films. This accounts for Mr. Smith's rather inexpert command of the brightly-colored picture map last night. I'm not sure if this episode is a metaphor, a meta-theme, a microcosm or just another amusing window into the plainly decorated suburban White Protestant home that seems to now forcefully dictate the course of public policy in the United States. The upside, of course, is that the pants at Wal-Mart feature adjustable elastic waistbands, which is handy, since patriotic-themed popcorn buckets will be on sale now through Inauguration Day. Ask an associate for details. There is no limit per household.

Bumbling in The Orient

REQUIRED READING
"Fiasco: The American Military Adventure in Iraq" by Thomas Ricks

Violent right wing movements tend to produce irrational foreign policies, leaving obtuse legacies for historians. It's hard for us to remember the immediate importance of places like Abyssina, The Sudetenland and Grenada. Iraq might be a little different. Later reviewers will understand its obvious importance as a buffer against Iran and as a secular state with pan-Arab nationalist designs, making it a very nice check on radical Islamism.

The current American leadership, however, sees another set of obvious important qualities in Iraq, most of which aren't abundantly clear. To get a stronger sense of why we're really there, you ought to read America's Secret War by George Friedman. Of course, it sometimes seems like sophisticated analysis of the situation is a fool's errand. While one hopes there's a more compelling explanation to all of this, judging by the outcome, reasonable people can sometimes be excused for believing that we're actually there to advance a clumsy and untested theory.

"Fiasco" by Washington Post military corespondent Thomas Ricks is a fantastic new book that explains how, rather than why, this all happened, and American military generals are the principal players in this drama. The overall themes are familiar to readers, but the particular relationships, personalities and decision-making processes are wonderfully illuminated by Ricks' original reporting.

One is left with the usual aching suspicion that Donald Rumsfeld and Robert McNamara are, in fact, the same person. Ricks doesn't make that point himself, though the obvious Vietnam comparisons in his account are striking. He convincingly demonstrates that CENTCOM Commander General Tommy Franks did not understand the difference between tactics and strategy. With neoconservative fantasies about Iraq shattering upon every intersection with reality, the military's need for a clear, useful strategy (i.e. 'what are our larger goals and objectives here, and how will we accomplish them?') was essential. Franks never seems to have realized taking the nation's capital was not the same as changing the regime. This book treats the military leadership fairly, demonstrating much of its considerable talent and skill (every general Ricks mentions seems to have a PhD from a distinguished university). The problem, more often than not, is the ultimate failure of the civilian leadership to make honest and accurate assessments and its incompetent organizational management skills. The reader is overwhelmed by the Administration's particular penchant for Orwellian language and Soviet-style upside-down logic in the face of unanticipated facts. After months of denying the reality of the insurgency, in April 2004, Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Richard Myers declared, “I think it’s that success which is driving the current situation, because there are those extremists that don’t want that success,” echoing the President's singular insight that insurgents "hate freedom."

The Proconsul for Iraq, Coaltion Provisional Authority (CPA) head L. Paul Bremmer, comes off looking particularly bad. His autonomous agency created an ambiguous and competing chain of command, undercutting the most important principle of successful combat operations: unity of command. His authority was dangerously undefined, and his decision to dissolve the Iraqi army and 'DeBaathify' the country's critical institutions, Ricks suggests, was done without Washington's blessing. Those decisions were also done against the recommendation of key military officers in the theater, and they were the most catastrophic blows to success in post-invasion Iraq.

Sensible policy never seems to have been very important in this adventure, be it in counterinsurgency operations, prisoner handling or the odious matter of Ahmed Chalabi. The overwhelming sense is of highly capable forces loosely unleashed toward a vague and clumsy enterprise. Ricks quotes retired Army Colonel Andrew J. Bacevich as he discusses the former commander of US ground forces in Iraq, "Historians will remember Ricardo Sanchez as the William Westmorland of the Iraq War, a general who misunderstood the nature of the conflict he faced, and thereby played into the enemy's hands."

It is easy to forget we won every battle in Vietnam and still lost the war. Military and political leaders apparently lost sight of why we were in Vietnam in the first place.