Dr. Kahn, please pick up the white courtesy phone

For those readers earnestly trying to put the clunkier pieces of this puzzle together, may we kindly suggest asking the children to leave the room before googling "Dr. A.Q. Kahn." If ads for Lipitor pop up, you've spelled it wrong.

Hitherto, your interest in Pakistani affairs was likely limited to questions surrounding the head of state's silly Idi Amin getup and/or the connection between Bert and Al Qaida. But with Pakistan playing a critical role in uncovering this plot whilst Osama bin Laden summers there, a closer examination of the players, relationships and motivations is warranted.

Knowing a bit about Dr. Kahn will illuminate your study of the slightly complicated relationship between the ISI, Pakistan's intelligence service, and the west. This will further guide your understanding of the rather still more complicated relationship between the aforementioned head of state and his constituents, allies, neighbors, coreligionists, uppity Hindus and his pronounced interest in remaining alive. Achieving the latter goal is, at least for now, critical to the longterm stability of the civilised world and your continued ability to take the subway to Whole Foods without a radiation suit.

The White House Office of Spreading Democracy declined to comment for this story.